Gw memang belum lama jadi sopir taxi di Perth.. kira2 baru 8 bulan lah.. tapi kira2 uda cukup banyak lah gue ngalemin kejadian yang aneh dan lucu selama gue kerja.. Salah satu kejadian yang gak bisa gue lupain adalah kejadian sewaktu mulai kerja di weekend perdana gue kerja.. yaitu kejadian waktu gue ngangkut dua penumpang yang dari logatnya langsung ketauan kalo mereka berasal dari Irlandia.. kita sebut aja si gendut dan si kurus.. dan seperti kebiasaan orang2 irlandia pada umumnya.....
Dua orang ini mabokkk...
Entah ada apa dengan orang Irlandia dan kebiasaan minumnya.. juga kebanggaan dengan bir hitam produk dalam negerinya.. Guiness... Padahal rasanya kaya ada berasa kecap kalo kata beberapa temen2 indo gue.. dan gue jg setuju.. tapi gue mayan demen sih.. hahaha..
Anyway, kembali ke dua penumpang gue tadi.. yang tiba2 masuk ditengah2 keramaian lalu lintas Northbridge, Chinatown kecil di kota Perth. Pertama2.. si kurus masuk ke bangku belakang.. sambil langsung ngomong ke gue.. "to east vic park please lad.." abis itu lewat pintu yg masi kebuka dia panggilin temennya si gendut suruh cepetan.. 'Dut... buru Dut!!' kira2 gitu.. terus gak berapa lama disusul oleh si gendut.. yg langsung duduk di bangku depan.. tepat disebelah gue.. sambil tersenyum mabokk dia bilang "to Leederville please lad.." sambil nunjukin gw kartu nama yg ada addressnya..
'Loh bukannya kita mau ke east vic park tadi kata temen lo..?', gue nanya..
Terus jadinya mereka berdua debat deh dengan inggris logat irlandia nya yang sangat kental.. yg cm bisa gw ngerti setengah bagian.. tapi kira2 mereka ngomong begini.. 'Rus.. lo mau pulang? jangan lah.. baru jg jam segini.. kita ketempat itu lah..' kata si gendut.. terus si kurus bilang.. 'ah ya udah lah.. serah lo deh dut.. capek gw ama elo'..
Setelah dua2nya sepakat, si gendut nunjukin gue lagi kartu namanya yg tadi.. terus gue baca tulisannya.. 'Leederville Massage'.. wahhh mau mijit nihh.. tapi uda lewat midnight.. wahh pasti pijit ga bener nih... pijit plus plus.. hahahah... wahhhh gawattt.. Ya udah gue masukin alamatnya ke gps komputer yang ada di taxi gue.. terus tiba2.. baru jalan bentar gue uda harus berenti lagi karena pas lagi ada lampu merah.. Ehhh tiba2.. si gendut buka pintu.. lari keluar taxi.. terus muntah2 di pinggir jalan.. Wahhh.. gue tiba2 keinget pelajaran waktu gue ngambil short course jadi sopir taxi.. bahwa sopir taxi berhak menolak penumpang kalo mereka terlalu mabok dan kayanya bisa muntah di mobil elo.. jadi gue ngomong deh sama si kurus.. di belakang. 'Wah sorry nih bro.. tapi kalo temen lo muntah2 gitu.. gue ga bisa kasih dia masuk ke mobil gue.. takut muntah di mobil bro... repot gue bersihinnya ".. Terus si kurus bilang dengan gampangnya "Ya ude lo tinggal aja si gendut lah.. Biarin dia pulang sendiri.. gue jg uda mo pulang sebetulnya.. Die aja mesum masi mo mijit malem2.. ".. Gw mikir wahh kebetulan deh gw tetep dapet penumpang jadinya.. Pas banget lagi sama lampu nya pas berubah jadi ijo.. gw bilang aja ke si gendut.. 'bye dutt'.. terus gw ngebut dikit.. biar pintunya die nutup sendiri.. Si gendut dengan muka bingungnya cuma bisa ngeliat kita cabut ninggalin dia.. hahaha.. sorry dutt.. kata gue dalem hati.. Nah gw anterin deh tuh si kurus.. balik kerumahnya di east vic park...
Gak berapa lama, penumpang berikutnya masuk.. pas masuk langsung lapor ke gue.. 'eh ini ada iphone ketinggalan nih'.. waduh punya si kurus nih ketinggalan.. kata gue dalem hati.. ya udah deh gue simpenin dulu.. siapa tau dia tiba2 sadar hpnya ilang terus nelpon lagi ke hpnya sendiri entaran.. tinggal gue angkat.. Jadi gue nyetir dulu deh sembari kerja sembari nunggu kabar dari si kurus.. Terus kira2 dua jam kemudian.. iphonenya bunyi... langsung gue angkat deh.. 'hello?' terus tu orang ngomong apa gituh.. logat irlandia nya kentel banget gue rada ga nangkep.. terus gue jawab lagi.. 'sorry what??'.. terus tiba2 dia sadar kayanya gw bukan yg punya hape.. hahaha.. 'who the f**k is this?' kata dia.. Terus gue jelasin deh situasinya kalo gue sopir taxi dan hape temennya die ketinggalan di taxi jadi gue pegangin dulu hapenya.. terus dia bilang ke gue.. 'wah kebetulan gue lagi butuh taxi nih.. lo bisa jemput gue ga?? terus gw bilang bisa donk, lumayan kan dapet fare.. dan dia kasih alamatnya di jalan apa gitu.. gue tinggal masukin ke gps.. pas lagi jalan.. gue keinget samar2 hmmm.. kayanya gue pernah disuruh ke alamat itu.. tapi kapan yah gue rada samar2 tuh.. pas gue sampe di tempatnya gue liat plangnya tulisan "Leederville Massage".. wahhhh... itu tadi berarti si genduttt.. dan beneran pas di depan gue dia lagi nungguin gue di depan gedungnya.. dan langsung masuk pintu passenger depan.. tepat disebelah gue.. terus dia bilang.. 'heyy.. i know u..' waduh... gawat... gue pikir si gendut bakal kesel ama gue.. gue tinggalin dia soalnya tadi.. jadi gue bilang aja langsung... 'Sorry bro lo tadi gue tinggal.. abis takut lo muntah.. terus temen lo suruh gue nganterin dia pulang soalnya dia uda ngantuk..' Untungnya dia cuma ketawa dia bilang.. 'its okay.. u're a mighty man..' soalnya gue balikin hape temen kostnya die si kurus... Akhirnya abis gue anterin si gendut balik kerumahnya di east vic park.. gue dikasih tips.. 50 dollar.. lumayan banget.. haha.. thank God for His blessings.. jadi orang jujur.. ada berkahnya.. amin..
First weekend incident...
I've only been a taxi driver in Perth for a short while, about 8 months, but I've already experienced quite a few odd and funny incidents during my work. One incident I can't forget happened during my first working weekend, when I picked up two passengers whose accents immediately revealed they were from Ireland... let's just call them the fat one and the skinny one, and like the typical Irish...
These two were drunk... I don't know what it is with the Irish and their drinking habits, and their pride in their domestic black beer, Guinness... Although it tastes like it has a hint of soy sauce according to some of my Indonesian friends, and I agree.. but I kinda like it.. hahaha..
Anyway, back to my two passengers... who suddenly entered amid the traffic chaos in Northbridge, a small Chinatown in the city of Perth. First, the skinny one got into the back seat.. and immediately said to me, "to east vic park please lad.." then through the still-open door he called out to his friend the fat one to hurry up.. 'come on... hurry up fatso!!' something like that.. then not long after, the fat one followed, sitting in the front seat right beside me.. smiling drunkenly he said "to Leederville please lad.." while showing me a business card with the address.. 'Aren't we supposed to be going to east vic park according to your friend?', I asked.. Then they started debating in very thick Irish-accented English.. I could only understand half of it.. but roughly they said.. 'Rus.. you want to go home? Don't man.. it's only this time.. let's go there..' said the fat one.. then the skinny one said.. 'ah alright then.. whatever you say fatso.. I'm tired of you'..
After they both agreed, the fat one showed me his business card again.. then I read the writing.. 'Leederville Massage'.. ohhh they want a massage.. but it's past midnight.. definitely not a proper massage... haha... ohhh trouble... Well, I entered the address into the GPS computer in my taxi.. and just as we started moving I had to stop again because there was a red light.. Suddenly.. the fat one opened the door.. ran out of the taxi.. and started vomiting on the roadside.. Wow.. I suddenly remembered the lesson from when I took a short course to become a taxi driver.. that a taxi driver has the right to refuse passengers if they are too drunk and might vomit in your car.. so I said to the skinny one in the back. 'Wow sorry man.. but if your friend is vomiting like that.. I can't let him back into my car.. afraid he'll vomit in the car bro... it's trouble to clean it'.. Then the skinny one said nonchalantly "Just leave the fat one then.. Let him go home alone.. I actually want to go home too.. He's still up for a naughty massage at night.." I thought wow perfect I still get a passenger.. Just right as the light turned green.. I said to the fat one.. 'bye fatso'.. then I sped up a bit.. so his door would close itself.. The fat one with his confused face could only watch us drive away leaving him.. hahaha.. sorry dutt.. I thought to myself.. Well, I then took the skinny one.. back to his home in east vic park...
Not long after, the next passenger got in.. as soon as he entered he reported to me.. 'eh there's an iPhone left behind here'.. oh it belongs to the skinny one.. I thought to myself.. well I'll just keep it for now.. maybe he'll realize his phone's missing and call it later.. so I just drive while working while waiting for news from the skinny one.. Then about two hours later.. the iPhone rang... I picked it up right away.. 'hello?' then that person said something.. his Irish accent was so thick I barely understood.. then I replied.. 'sorry what??'.. then suddenly he realized maybe I'm not the owner.. hahaha.. 'who the f**k is this?' he said.. Then I explained the situation that I'm a taxi driver and his friend's phone was left in my taxi so I'm holding onto it for now.. then he said to me.. 'oh that's lucky I need a taxi right now.. can you pick me up?? and I said I could, good to get the fare.. and he gave me his address on some street.. I just entered it into the GPS.. while driving.. I vaguely remembered hmm.. seems I was asked for this address before.. when did that happen I'm a bit vague.. when I arrived at the place I saw the sign "Leederville Massage".. ohhhh... that was the fat one earlier.. and sure enough there he was waiting for me in front of

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